How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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