ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
