I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
