remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
