i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
