i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
