we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The police scanner is talking about you again....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
