I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
