So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
