Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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