Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
