toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Randomize