why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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