this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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