It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
