dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
