so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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