Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
