So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
