He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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