just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
worst night to have a conscience
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
