Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
