how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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