so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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