there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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