I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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