I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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