Your tits are I can't wait for
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
