Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
