i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
