oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
