I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
