Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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