Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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