hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
