I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
