He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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