we made out on top of his cat.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
