It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
