Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
