Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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