so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
