where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize