Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
