...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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