And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
