I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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