i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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