The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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