I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
