The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
