Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
