Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

Fav 14 2021 4712
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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(607): View more from New York

no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.

Fav 2 1911 938
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(917): View more from New York City

hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

Fav 9 2208 907
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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody

Fav 0 223 100
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?

Fav 0 60 29
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