guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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