Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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