shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
