he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
