lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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