Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize