I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
