Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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