All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
