The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize